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Remembering the Other World I was recently given the opportunity to question why I work for myself, why I choose to be self-employed and not in a full time, reliably paying, salaried corporate job. This opportunity came when a major corporate made me an offer that was, to say the least, flattering. My initial response was that I didn't "do the job thing", their reaction was to increase the salary package. This got me thinking; here was a significant package and undoubtedly a prestigious and challenging role and one that I was definitely qualified to do. But I wasn't really interested, the money issue was the first sign of this, but surprisingly perhaps what rang alarm bells was the ease at which they offered more money but their complete lack of comprehension about making the role work for me. They want to "own" you, a voice said. And they would have too, this job would have been full time, flat out, long hours, longer weeks and no time to do the things that, over the last four years of working for myself have become important parts of my routine. And there was the key, when people ask me what I do, it's not a simple answer! I manage to juggle a number of different, exciting and challenging projects, some fade away and new ones come along. I write, but this doesn't necessarily pay the bills, I write poetry and that definitely doesn't pay the bills. I do consultancy work, I'm lucky because this does pay the bills but it can be erratic and you don't always get the projects that you really want. But most of the time there is a balance that it has taken me four years to create. This is a way of working that works for me and is a part of my life. It's not something all consuming around the periphery of which are small glimpse of life, existing in a few snatched hours of relaxation or a brief annual holiday, spent recovering from the year just over. The poet, David Whyte said:
to remember But what is "the other world"? How can we remember something that we did not even know existed? In today's busy world the focus is on making money - usually for someone else. We reduce costs, increase efficiency and manage our resources effectively and without emotion, whether that means paper, computers or people. All of this is in the name of profit and ultimately returning that profit to a few fortunate shareholders. Is this our true inheritance? Don't get me wrong: There is nothing wrong with making profit but equally there is even less wrong in having a life! Cut through the glossy rhetoric of the mission statement and the only reason for a business to exist is to make a profit. A company makes a profit to survive, just as we breathe in order to survive. But we don't go around maximising our breaths, reducing our excessive breathing and expending vast amounts of energy counting, recounting, charting, analysing our breaths. We simply breathe. as human beings, we accept breathing as a fundamental part of our being and then carry on with life, focusing instead on what is really important to us. So why can't the business world accept that it needs to make a profit and then get on with the creating an environment where it is part of a bigger picture? After all, that is exactly what many of us who have left the corporate world have achieved on our own! Corporate, from the word corpus: A body. Work is about doing. There is little time, if any, for reflection. There is little time to stop. And ask how you are feeling, how your colleagues or your customers are feeling. In this place you don't feel a part of the whole because you aren't, you are simply a cog in the wheels of production and profit. Fall over and it is easy to believe that another ubiquitous cog will replace you. If we treat our own bodies in this way, we get ill, unfit; to use the language of business, unproductive. Yet, there is no place in our corporate model of business to stop and be our self. Work is about doing. The soul is about being. Work is about concrete, definable goals, there is no room for being. Balance sheets are about facts and figures. Poetry and myth are about encouraging us to listen to our souls. To live in constant touch with our souls means creating a little space for poetry and myth in the boardroom, at the heart of the corporate beast.
How many of us ever experience the sheer vastness of now, of this the present moment? The point in time where Pablo Neruda felt his soul ignite. Can we stop just to recognise the enormous potential of emptiness or are we all too busy worrying about what we just did, what might happen next and what others might think if it does. In our human past, story and particularly myth have been used to explore the important lessons but today there is no place for them in our world. Our modern fairy stories are fables of the corporate world, of success and lessons to be learned. They are checklists to ensure that you succeed at whatever cost, a recipe for the motivated individual. There is no time for poetry and this is a shame because poetry is like home made chicken stock: it is the world reduced to its very essence and then a little spice is added to help us understand. Poems are short but take time to read, to savour. They are intense, unlike the padded out fables of the new corporate press. The journey into ourselves cannot take place in facts and figures, to do this we need to feel real fear and experience the fever as we rediscover our wings and let our souls ignite:
In the old stories, in the world of myth and legend, the journey is a metaphor for learning; for growth. To step from the edge is to experience the unknown, to embark on a journey into darkness. A moment of fear and yet also one of infinite possibility. This is always a step that you must take alone because that is the paradox, only you can do this and you must learn to recognise what is right for yourself. Just as our legendary heroes discovered this for themselves, so must you. As we descend from comfort to discomfort, into the dark interior of our soul, we are at first unsure. That is because we are increasingly conditioned to avoid fear. We are risk averse, choosing to stay in the light and never to make these difficult journeys. We never stop counting each breath, as if breathing is finite and one more used is one less in the bank. Instead of balancing the books, we need to spend more time balancing our own ledger of human existence and more time filling up the credits of our own potential. How long do you have to wait for something to ignite in your soul? When I was offered that exciting job that four years earlier I would have jumped at, it made me step back and see what I had achieved in that time. It made me realise what was really important to me, what I valued about where I was. There are many downsides to being self-employed but there are many upsides. The real lesson that I have learnt is always to be true to myself. How long will it take before you remember that you already have wings? Step from the edge and you will fly and, when you do it will be because:
to remember
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